destroy the worries, play in the leaves

my life seems jumbled.

all my problems have fallen away to reveal a new set of problems and insecurities. i just wish i could rake them up into a pile like leaves on a fall day.

my gingerboy is great. he really really is. ive never felt this way about anyone before and he just makes me feel so special. but im afraid of what will happen to us. relationships dont last forever. especially in highschool. young love is fleeting. im afraid ill slip up. i dont know much about being a good girlfriend. i dont know a lot of things. i feel so naieve. it sucks. it gets me questioning everything i do. everything i say. i dont like it. but i do like him and i like the way he looks at me. so im just going to try and get the hang of things.

brittany and jackie seem to be distancing themselves from me. their moving date moved up to winter break now instead of summer break. theyve moved so many times before, maybe they found out that its easier to take the distance ahead of time. i dont know. but i dont like it. theyre my best friends and i dont want to lose them. but it seems like every time i try to make plans or even have a conversation with them, theyre too busy. i cant deal with losing another best friend. i just cant. i dont have anyone else to turn to.

one of my friends has me worried. she isnt herself. all i want is for her to happy. all i want is to be there for her. i love her so much. shes my best friend and always has been. i just wish there was some way i could help.

hopefully everything will fall into place. ill be able to pile them up and sort through. then dive right in and enjoy life. just work through the worries and live.

buy me a rake?

i love you

ashleyy

color my senses cherry red

ashley has a boyfran. =]

this doesnt happen often.

this is good.

hes a keeper.

i love you

ashleyy

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

well i guess happy late halloween.

i had an amazing time. i went trick or treating with kelsey and jennifer. i decided that im going to go every year until i get weird looks. i got the idea from kelsey. so if im accepted at peoples doorsteps until im 30 then, hey, bring on the candy! i always have fun and it gives me a chance to feel like a kid again. i love it.

i went to a halloween party tonight at jessicas house. she annoys the crap outta me which is mean but true. shes clingy to the extreme but shes super nice. tons of my friends were there and jessica has a twin brother so we had some football guys too. sadly none of the attractive ones came. its a shame. but oh well i have my ginger.

jessica invited a lot of the show choir kids along with me, brittany, jackie, stephany, jordan, and a bunch of other people. lets just say we dont mix well. they all stayed upstairs and in the kitchen playing apples to apples so poor jessica was torn between trying to make sure they had a good time and hanging our with us. oh well. i hope she ended up having fun at her own party. i know i had fun.

we got kinda tired of being inside so we went out and jumped on the trampoline and then got everyone to join in a game of soda pong. its just like beer pong except with soda. and we didnt have a ping pong ball so we used goldfish. haha. it was fun yet disgusting because we mixed all the grossest kinds of coke together. deeelish. rootbeer makes me gag.

i had an altogether fun halloween. everyone like my twister costume (theres a picture at the top). i did get lots of "left hand blue" comments from the football players though.

how was your halloween?

if it sucked just play some twister

i love you!

ashleyy