im just not feelin it

ITS SUMMER!!

everyone looks forward to it. lounging by the pool. lying in the grass. looking at the clouds. hitting up the closest lemonade stand. going on late night walks and not needing a jacket.

its all fine and dandy and i love it all. but for some reason...

im just not feelin it.

i dont know why. i LOVE summer! but i cant get into the mood. i just spend my days being bored. and for some reason, my creativity is gone.

i HATE it. my creative side usually comes pretty easily. but lately i just havnt had that spark. thats why i havnt written in so long. i cant get in the mood. i want to have it so badly, its like a craving. maybe i need to get away. see something new besides little ole fort wayne. i need a new crowd. my crowds been pretty slim lately anyway. theyre mysteriously out of touch. i dunno. but i need SOMETHING. i need a jumpstart. i just have no clue how to get it.

i want to create. i want to buy a sewing machine. but who knows how much they cost. and i want to paint. i want to draw. i want to color with crayons and make it look like piccasso. i want to write a novel. i want to inspire someone, somewhere, with something. but i dont know how to make it happen. it feels like a vaccume just came and sucked it all outta me. hey hoover give it back!

thats my new mission. figure it all out. get myself straight again. reconnect the dots. listen to some music. make some music. oh geesh practice that damn guitar. make a whole new ashley thats maybe not so new but has been hiding for a while.

ill start tomorrow. er today its 12:06. but i need sleep to juice up the brain.

here goes nothin

i love you!

ashleyy

UGH

I AM JUST SO TIRED



im not even sure why


i just feel overwhelmed with anything and everything

I NEED A BREAK

i just want to take a day off of everything. no tennis, no school, no communication with anyone whatsoever. just sleep and read all day and plan. plan for what will later come. plan for the future. but nothing stressful. just blissful imagining that will probably never come true.

i need some downtime


anyone know a good way to convince a parent you need a mental health day?


i love you

ashleyy

ok wow

its been forever to say the least

and i feel bad because this is all im going to say today

im tired.

sorry lovelies! ill post tomorrow.

busybusybusy

i love you!

ashleyy

urban dictionary's word of the post:
bitchassness
newly discovered disease running rampant, especially in the black community. symptoms include:

1.punkish tendencies see pussy or pussy nigga

2. cattiness, such as talking behind someone's back

3. thinking highly of yourself, but only expressing it under your breath

4.claiming "hurt feelings" when you are called out on your bullshit

Robert of Making the Band 4: "Bitchassness is a disease...and it fucks shit up..."