its the end of the world as we know it

so im sure many of you have heard about the whole crazy british scientist guy recreating the big bang theory. and when you think about it, it will ultimately lead to doom. so whats the point? if it works we get our universe replaced by another one and if it doesnt we get sucked into a black hole. yippie for scientific discovery!

so due to our possibly impending death in about a month (not to be a downer) ive been thinking about life and death and stuff. the other day i was watching Troy and Achilles said that the gods are jealous of men because we are mortal. mortals see everything differently and more gloriously. we live life on the edge because our life could end at any moment. we see everything more brightly and brilliantly. everything has an edge to it. we want to take in as much of it as we can so we wont miss a beat. life is a precious thing that shouldnt be taken for granted. it seems like sometimes we forget that we are mortal. we dont stop to take in everything and just live. we rush through our lives and try to get everything done at a superfast pace so we can come out on top. maybe the important thing is to just take it slow. then, in the end, you will come out ahead of the world.

ive also started to think about what i might like to tell some people before death comes. some things i think i owe them. i might just want to let people know how much i love and care for them. i dont really keep secrets from friends or have anything mean or super important to tell them. i just want them to know that i care. my friends and family mean the world to me. i definitly dont treat my family the way i should. i know i dont. but its really really hard with one like mine. and i know a lot of people have it way worse but its still hard. people look at me and think i have it all good. but there are things that people dont know. you shouldnt assume that everythings ok just because you dont say or complain about it. because of these things im not very nice in return to my family. i do still love them though and they probably need to hear that more often. i was also thinking about telling that certain guy my feelings for him. i doubt i will because ill chicken out though. but i did think about it. what could happen if i did. though some of the thoughts involved denial which always sucks. because i honestly have no idea what he thinks about me. he gives mixed signs. my heard isnt in your pants so stop playing with it. haha i saw that on an icon. but anywho. yeah i dunno.

im not sure if i should believe all this end of the world mumbo jumbo hooha. but what if it really is true? would i act out on these things? im not sure. i always say im going to do stuff and then never do it. thats one of the bad things about me. i chicken out too easily. i guess ill just have to see what comes up in a month!

i love you until the end of the world and beyond

ashleyy