young love is fleeting

today was...

well i dont really know what today was

it wasnt good but it wasnt bad either

i dunno i was in an odd mood today for some reason. i think it might be loneliness. ive been feeling that a lot lately.

it seems the only thing that has ever made that feeling go away is being in tennessee. ahh how i miss it. i want to go back so bad. i miss janna and alex and annick and marie and everyone sooo much. it feels like thats where i belong. its where i always have and where i always will. there doesnt seem to be a place for me here in this crop circle of a state. i guess i just have to try and do my best because theres no changing my parents minds. theres no way they would let me live in tennessee without them. i can only dream.

i really really wish there was a guy who liked me. but these things never seem to go my way. every guy ive liked has suddenly realized it and alienated themselves from me. whats the deal? am i really that terrible? why doesnt anyone want to be with me?

everyone needs to feel loved and needed. its a necesity in life. without love we would be nothing. we wouldnt take risks or have sacrifices. what would be the point? without love there would be no us. it would be lonely and sad. even if you dont have love currently you know deep in your heart that theres a chance. you know it exists. so i guess you can love love but definitly hate it too. ill just have to wait. and see if the right guy comes along. one that i know wants to be with me.

if only for a moment.

will you love me?

ashleyy