bad yet good

so today/ yesterday was very dramatic for me. theres some crap with katie thats definitly pissing me off. she doesnt even think she did anything though no matter how much i try and explain to her that she did.

during school the other day she invited me to hang out with her and caylin on saturday so i said ok and for her to call me or whatever with plans. and so i turned down the three plans that people invited me to do just so i could hang out with her and caylin. it was a big deal to me because i basically havnt really talked to her since warped tour so i was excited to finally get a chance to hang out and all that. and then saturday came and there was still no call so i texted her and asked her what the plans were. and she said "there arent any" and so i said well will there be any? and she said "no nobody can do anything" and so i said "well i can" and she said "well its too late now" and it was 7:00 which is definitly not late at all. i mean the suns still up for another two hours. and so i was like well that sounds a little fishy but hey whatever she probably isnt allowed. and then i was talking to janna and i threw in there that katie and i were supposed to hang out and stuff but she cancelled and how shes been acting weird lately and all that jazz. and then janna was like well i have to call her anyway so ill talk to her about it.

so later janna called me back and told me that katie was acting really weird. she said that katie had said she was at someones house but she wouldnt tell her whose house she was at and something about zach coming over. so im thinking that that sounds a little odd to me. and so i text katie about it and ask her what the deal is and she keeps trying to tell me that there are no plans. and she eventually tells me that she went over to caylins house to swim. well that definitly sounds like plans to me. and that definitly sounds like a big ass lie too. and she doesnt seem to understand why im mad. wouldnt you be mad if your "best friend" invited you somewhere and then told you plans were cancelled but they really werent? i think so.

its not really the fact that i wasnt invited that bugs me. if she would have told me "hey caylin can only have me over" or whatever i would have been like "hey ok" because caylin hasnt liked me before and ive lived. but when she lies to me about it completely and goes out of her way to make sure i dont find out, its gonna piss me off a little bit. that and the fact that over the whole entire summer i only talked to her a few times and then i was expecting to be good friends again over the school year but nothing has happened. every time i try to talk to her she doesnt really talk and only talks to caylin. the only things i know about her life i learn from other people or her blog. that doesnt sound like a really close friendship to me. i want to hear about her life from her personally like i used to. but i guess theres absolutely nothing i can do about it. ill just have to find new friends. ive done it before and i can do it again.

theres your explaination katie. have fun with caylin.

ashleyy

ahh i almost forgot to mention the good.
i got to speak to my favorite people in the world many times today. just their goofy, peppy mood got mine up a lot. im still super upset about the whole katie thing of course but they got me to forget about it for quite a long time. im so excited to see them. but then again im afraid. once i get there i wont want to leave. when i get back i have a feeling im going to be in a depressed slump. thats never good. maybe something miraculous will happen and i wont have to leave. hmm lets hope for something crazy and out of the ordinary that can turn my life around. i guess i can only wait. 4 DAYS!!!!

with all this excitement the past seems to fade

once again
ashleyy out