because here i am unable to sleep because im so mad or upset or i dont even know. and shes glad that our friendship is over. she doesnt even care. and i really dont know why. because i honestly didnt do anything but try and get the friendship back together. she was always busy or whatever and i was always trying to get one day out of like three weeks to hang out. but she always ended up blowing me off. i really shouldnt even be upset. weve been falling apart for a while now. but it just infuriates me that she doesnt even care. at all. whatsoever. we were best friends once. shouldnt that make you feel SOMETHING? evidently not. i really really really need to try to go to sleep. i have school tomorrow morning. but ive woken up probably five times now. i just have too many confusing thoughts. i just dont understand how you can just drop your best friend in one day and then be happy about it and confident that the next day is going to be a great one. i just dont see how you can live with that and not say anything or explain anything.
if anyone knows please feel free to explain. i need it super badly. as you can probably tell by the last three posts in like two hours.
The New PostSecret Book
9 years ago
3 quips:
Ash, it's going to be okay.
If nothing else, me and Janna are going to help you through this.
Sorry I fell asleep last night or I definitely would have texted you back. Anytime you need to talk, you can call, text, or whatever.
Don't lose any more sleep over this.
so we need to talk about this, because did i say that i was happy about losing you as a friend? no. listen, ashley, ive been on a fucking emotional rollercoaster the past few days, and yknow, i actually didnt need any excess problems, because yes, zach fucking cheated. and i fucking got to see pictures. funn. i was actually planning on doing some working out on monday or whatever but all that really happened was that i got blogged about, which kinda pisses me off. ALSO what hurts is reading that although selfish, u were kindof hoping that we were gonna break up. yeah. mm alrighty then. i definately still cant figure out why saturday was made into an epic deal. i tried to explain. whatever. i dont want anymore drama. im sick of it. if thats what its gonna be, then we shouldnt talk yet. but we will talk eventually.
you know how i know? because i know what its like to have a best friend walk out of your life. i know that sometimes a person needs a period to cool down and work their shit out. and sometimes its fucking abrupt. people fuck up, too. i fucked up. and i would have said im sorry if you had given me a chance and not been all accusing. i just feel a little fucked over right now, by a lot of people all at once. but im gonna be okay. ive promised that to myself. i cant keep my head in the dumps, or else ill lose it. you, of all people, should know that.
i want this to be better in the end, for both of us. i really hope that youll know that im being sincere. because i am. forrr shiz, hashbrown.
im sorry.
Three days, Ash.
And I swear to God, we're gonna make 'em the best three days there could ever be.
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